Lost and Angry - Spewing Feels Online

This is following on from a Mastodon post because that’s how things start

This is the longest I’ve ever been unemployed and aside from the constant stress of not being able to survive, I’m absolutely terrified I’ll never get out of this situation before the financial support that keeps at minimum a roof over my head stops.

To say I hate the people who put me in this situation is an understatement and the system that holds me here is just as bad

And it gets better. I have stock options in this place that the money from the sale of those could really help ease the tension, but like every interview so far they’re ghosting me on answers to sell.

So not only have they stolen my life from me, they’ve decided to fully fuck me over even more

Or lives shouldn’t rely on people like this and honestly if I wasn’t in a more solid mental state I couldn’t say what would happen, but I think we all know what people can do to themselves when they’re drowning in hopelessness

I don’t even know why I’m getting ghosted either, no feedback just wasting my time.

People like this make us think the problem is us, but it is them. I’m confident (for once in my life) that it isn’t my doing but any longer and I could doubt that.

Not to mention the actual mental breakdown I had a few months back

But from the various times I mentioned before people just treat this as business, but business isn’t about fucking people over. I’ve done recruitment, I get it when you’re being flooded by CVs left right and centre. I also know the HR suite these companies are using, there is a two click solution to reject an applicant and give them some generic info.

If you’re feeling it, hey even free style part of that template and tell them why.

Then there are the assholes who created this situation, business and nothing personal. Let me stop you there, destroying my life is pretty personal especially when you engineer it to happen because there is nothing I’ve done wrong on a professional level and I’m exceeding at my job.

As somebody who has fired people in his past for real reasons with no other possibility, that action weighed heavily on me for months before and after and I did everything I could to avoid needing to upset their lives to that scale. But in 100% of those cases, that is the bed they made.

Which is why it takes a particularly sick person to engineer something like that and a particularly stupid person to not realise that receipts exist so if you’re going down that road there is a high bar effort you need to achieve to do it and not find yourself facing a tribunal.

I’m really just offloading in a mood right now and I got interrupted by a KYC thing while trying to sort out all my old share accounts to potentially liquidate if things get worse. Including the rock solid bonds I’ve reserved if the day comes that I might be homeless.

As always, here I am begging at the end of my post. If you have a few coin spare I’d be forever grateful to get even the smallest respite from this hell I’m spiralling down.

• Credit / Debit Card €
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• CAD $ : kc at ec.je